The Hot Political and SAHD Days of Summer

Hillary voter trying not to "look back in anger".

Hillary voter trying not to "look back in anger".

The temps behind the Orange Curtain are in the 80’s and the Inland Empire is in the 100’s.  The McCain campaign is in a tailspin and the Obama campaign is the new “Born in the USA” Springsteen tour of the 80’s.  The dog days of summer bring strange events as the sweat on the back of your neck grinds you down.  To celebrate these hot days, here are the top 10 things the presidential campaigns and SAHD’s have in common.

10. Nobody knows who is in charge. The Bean thinks its her because she’s the one who knows when she’s hungry, tired, bored or just ambivalent.  I think it’s me because I have 36 years of outstanding life experience. There is confusion.  Just like with John McCain. The McCain Campaign has hired new staff, but the current staff is oblivious. See here.

9. Day to day activities are often upset by the unexpected. Punditdad gets an eye infection and spends the morning clamoring for an appointment with the Super-Exclusive-Never-Available-Completely-Booked-Ophthalmologist to see her BEFORE the 2 week vacation.  Just made it under the radar.  Obama has airplane trouble as his MD-80 (on loan from the Hill Campaign!) had an inflatable slide deploy in the cone. Heads down press! Ride out the bumps says dad.

8. People hold you to what you say. Obama talked ’bout change in the primaries, but some left-istas seem to be in horror that he would use church’s to help communities, vote to give telecom immunity, give capital gains taxes to those who invest responsibly and not use government as the solution to every problem.  Unfortunately, McCain has pledged to balance the budget by 2013. Doesn’t he remember G.H.W. Bush on the no new taxes? Dumbass!

7. Naps are important to maintain high performance . John McCain, could possibly the oldest president ever to be elected, MUST need a nap every once in awhile. Obama looks like he naps during midday Sportscenter on his couch. The Bean needs a nap between 12:30 PM and 2:00 PM everyday or her head explodes and daddy is sent to the lowest level of hell. She’s just now sleeping off a battle of wills with Punditdad.

6. Maps are important to find where you are and where you are going. Punditdad believes in Google Maps wherever he needs to go. Have you ever spent 45 minutes looking for a thrift store in the middle of Orange County while your daughter goes ballistic in the back seat? No. You don’t want to either. She’s not mad about being stuck in the seat just that she had more confidence that her daddy was not a dumbass.  Maps also guide a campaign on how to reach the critical number of electoral votes. The best map of the states are here. Methinks Pennsylvania and Ohio are unjustifiebly powerful. I mean really, aren’t you sick of Ohio?

5. The Bush Economy sucks. The economy is getting worse by the day — 62,000 fewer jobs in June and no end in sight with the airline and the auto industries among others taking it on the chin because of rampaging gas prices. T Boone Pickens says we need windfarms. I say we need more bikes. The Bean says we need more naps…continuing.

4. Young people matter…maybe. In the 2008 presidential primaries, youth vote (18-29) increased by 2.4 million share. In the Republican primaries it increased 1% and with the Democrats it increased 5%.  Every four years people talk about how this year the youth vote will put one particular candidate over the edge. Did it work for John Kerry or Al Gore? Maybe there was a Real World Reunion Road Trip marathon on MTV2 during those elections? Who knows. The Post did an article in April drinking the Kool-Aid on youth vote that’s here. Since Punditdad is closer to 40 than 30, he thinks that the idealistic, overachieving upper middle class youths will vote to protect their white bread lifestyle and assuage their societal guilt. Meanwhile everyone else in the color spectrum under 30 will be at one of their 3 jobs or taking care of their children or trying to find a job. Elections should be on a Saturday (with same day registration) and anyone who feels different is an idiot.  Despite that, any youth voter under the age of 1 should be napping.

3. Blogs matter…maybe. Does this one? Does Daily Kos? I mean, do you think Barack Obama was running through the “Daily Thread” to check what “NiteOwl23” thought about his FISA vote? Gimme a break. McCain hasn’t touched a computer except the one that is connected to the paddles they put on his chest every morning to wake him up!  Bloggers matter as much as court jesters, mall security guards or fat free ice cream. In other words, the world could do without them and move along nicely. This blog not included.

2. November is a long way off. Yah, but it’s closer than you think. There is time for Punditdad to teach the Bean to hold a cup, but when? When Grammy comes to visit she’s going to wonder where all the “development” has gone. Time is short. Hell, the kid doesn’t crawl. Chalk it up to inappropriate societal expectations.  For McCain, he needs every waking second to get his ship off the reef and reassure his donors that the Straight Talk Express hasn’t gone off a cliff called Bush’s Third Term.  Obama has to make people believe that he’s more white than black, more Christian than “non-christian” and more of a leader than an orator.  The clock is ticking.

1. This IS a popularity contest. There is only one poll that matters and babies don’t vote. The candidate who wins the election is the person who won the campaign. They convinced the public to vote for them to have the most responsibility in the free world and to completely go grey as a result.  SAHD life is a balance between popularity and the FISA vote, what is right and what appeals to the masses who are going to love you anyway. Isn’t that how it always is?

One Response

  1. HILARIOUS entry, PD. I love hearing about the Bean and I couldn’t agree with you more – Ohio is so freaking dead to me. They were close after 2000 but they were officially dead to me in November 2004 – if they haven’t learned their lesson by now, then cry me a freaking river over lost jobs and the poor economy, Ohio…don’t ruin it for the rest of us this time. Consider that a threat, Ohio!
    And I have to believe in the youth vote this time – if only because they turned out in droves for the primaries….and many of those primaries took place also during a sweeps month when fascinating youth TV was available and potentially more interesting than standing in line to vote.

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