The Dangers of Ego Parenting

Media Whore Tori Spelling exemplifies Ego Parenting - is there anthing she wouldn\'t do to stay famous? Sell her children?
Media Whore Tori Spelling exemplifies Ego Parenting – is there anthing she wouldn’t do to remain on the D list?

Sure, I know we live in a self-loathing, guilt-infested culture that is always pointing the finger at itself! Blogs like this do more damage than good when pointing out the problems that parents harvest with their children through thoughtlessness and ego.  But since having a child, I’ve realized that children deserve the best of ourselves, that we should find a degree of selflessness and sacrifice in each other we never knew possible to ensure the best for their future. Most parents do. I try to. But some, no, hold that, many do not. I call it Ego Parenting (note strategic caps since I intend to copyright this term for my Oprah taping).

Ego parenting is my term for parenting that ensures the child, or its needs, never interfere with your needs as an individual.  You never let anyone around think that you’re not as cool or stylish as before you had children. You fight to do all the things you did before as a single person. In fact, you hold onto your former single lifestyle more fiercely than when you were single!  Thank god there aren’t dance clubs with day care because I know there would be tons of parents dropping them off and ordering a pomegranate martini before you can say “Finding Nemo”.

But ego parenting isn’t about just being cool. it’s about putting you first rather than your kid (see hyperlink: and I see it all the time here behind the Orange Curtain.  Kids get dragged around to malls and stores and are really just ornements that their parents insist on displaying.  I see it in cars where children are ignored by their phone waving parents while the kid watches tv in the car! I’m not even targeting moms either, the same can be said for dads who live the lifestyle to be seen as a parent but not actually want to pay the price as a parent.

Why are some parents with misguided judgement and an infantile sense of self worth having children? Because society and our culture of success has said that you can’t be a “winner” or a have  “made it” unless you have children.  How else are you going to be able to pass on the same addiction to corporate consumerism unless its through your children?

The dangers of ego parenting are multiple: your child develops with a sense that the world owes them something rather than a desire to earn their hopes and dreams.  They have no feeling of self worth or ownership of their lives.  Punditdad sees kids everyday who live in a nightmarish, endlessley repeating loop of “Real Moms of OC” filled with petty drama, useless bling, fashion, bickering, and yet, they are striving for it, not trying to escape it.

I’ll be talking more about ego parenting as I observe in my adventures with the Bean – and pointing out that behavior in myself when appropriate. Let me know your thoughts.

One Response

  1. LOVE that you coined this term, Pundit Dad. IT shows what a true pundit you are. I, too, cannot stand witnessing Ego Parenting – it is outrageous and idiotic and it makes me want to judge, mock and ridicule the stupid self-consumed parents I see indulging in this behavior. And alas, I think it is a nationwide epidemic because I see plenty of it out here in DC. I’d like to just say one thing – don’t judge those parents with a TV on in the car too harshly until you find yourself parenting a toddler and you’re heading on a long driving trip. The only way to survive is with a portable DVD player. Sure, you think you can avoid it – but we all succumb. So I’d like to request that offering children a DVD as entertainment for trips exceeding an hour – doesn’t classify you as an Ego Parent.
    KT out.

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