Who the F**ck Reads Cathy?

As a loyal newspaper reader for many years, I also indulge in the comic page. I don’t read every one, or the horoscopes or do Bridge or the Word Jumble, but I like to read a couple of comics to add a bit of frivolity to my day. Who can blame me? I’m inside with a toddler most days so it’s amazing I’m not doing crystal meth and shooting my tv.   Anyway, the other day the Chicago Tribune an0unced on the Comics Page that some new changes were coming to said section.  They are downsizing the paper to save money and a few comics were going to be affected. Some would go, but some were increasing in size.  Curiouser and curiouser I thought. Little did I know the horror.

Now, Punditdad tends towards the newer comics, Brewster Rockit: Space Guy, Dilbert and such.  I don’t have time for Broomhilda or the intricacies of Dick Tracy. Who follows a serial comic in 2010 I ask you? Really.  My take is that most comic pages in America reflect the tastes of people over the age of 50 and are much the worse for it.  Point of fact, they are not funny.

Now, enter the changes to the Tribune. They intend to eliminate Lio (demonic hell-child tortures his father), Sylvia (insane cats use telepathy on sarcastic cat owner) and Get Fuzzy (neurotic cat and dog abuse slack-jawed 30-something owner).  Now, all of these comics aren’t the best, but occasionally get a chuckle out of me.  They delay the impact of the total terror and disappointment that is modern news. Let’s face it, if you’re paying attention the world is in pretty bad shape.  Comics are a good escape.  But the lose of those comics aren’t the horrors. The horrors are that Cathy, the most gratuitously inane comic this  side of The Family Circus is getting 25% bigger! It’s not alone, Blondie, Hagar, Shoe and For Better or for Worse are all increasing in size so the geriatric set can read them.   Seriously, who the fuck reads Cathy?

Cathy was funny in the 1980’s when the idea of an overworked single woman with neuroses about her weight, her fashion sense and the cleanliness of her house was hysterical.  Nowadays it’s as funny as TV’s Full House, overdone, myopic and seriously un-funny.  Cathy has never had the self-deprecating humor that even Hagar or Shoe have, the lonely “life is shit and then you die” attitude that strikes at the heart of modern living, at the ennui that we feel knowing life is one big Pink Floyd lyric without the laser show.  No, Cathy is much like the Family Circus, the worst comic on the world without disagreement, because it’s not aware of itself. It simply moves on and on like a zombie, continuing it’s mindless rampage of bourgeois triteness.  If I controlled the world, Cathy would be the first comic to be banned from all newspapers and it’s archives burned to keep peasants warm in arctic Russian winters.

Thank god the Tribune sees fit to also increase the size of the Hall of Famers like Doonesbury and Peanuts.  I read Peanuts even today and constantly smile at the 4 panel genius that was Charles Schultz.  Many people say, “To each their own”. But I say to hell with Cathy.


One Response

  1. So sad for you…

    Very timely post – I was in a bagel shop today and was reminded of this fact: In two-newspaper towns (used to be Denver, but OC still has the LA times and the OC Register), I find that ther’es a ‘blue collar’ paper and a ‘white collar’ paper.

    Blue collar paper has Shoe, Cathy, Hagar, ‘oldies’, non-topical comics

    White Collar paper has Doonsbury, Dilbert, Get Fuzzy, Politically-oriented cartoons

    I was reading the ‘Blue Collar’ paper today at the bagel shop and was thankful that I get the ‘other’ paper for my comic fix

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