Father’s Day Epilogue

Punditdad had a fabulous first father’s day receiving the acolytes and tributes befitting a proud SAHD in the modern age. Many thanks and love go to Mommy and the Bean for all their love, laughter and smiles they bless on me every day. Punditdad got choked up when he received his own personalized book with pictures of the Bean paying tribute to her daddy. In the “safe but not fashionable department”, Punditdad received an enormous hat that protects all living creatures within a 5 foot radius of the wearer from the harmful and malignant effects of the sun. Sorta like the gigantic sun hat Samantha wore in the SITC movie (yes, Punditdad endured the 2 hour designer/product placement orgy).

Father’s Day for Punditdad has always been a bit of a melancholy affair. My father abandoned my mother and I when I was 13 and made life complicated and dramatic in a way that only an arrogant, angry and egotistical man can do. Last year, after living alone in poverty and with severe mental illness, he ended his own life. Many reached out to him to provide help but all were rebuffed. I have learned through this experience that you cannot fix people with severe mental illness and make them the people you knew before. You cannot make someone be a good father either. They must chose to do it. Thankfully, I had a wonderful and strong mother who protected me, guided me and ensured that the most powerful and damaging aspects of my father (and his family) were kept far away and for that I am deeply grateful to her on Mother’s Day. But that’s another day.

So when Punditdad was sitting in his daddy’s chair reading the paper, he couldn’t help but be moved by one man’s story that was familiar to him. The article in the Sunday New York Times is here. His last paragraph has reverberated with me since I read the words and consecrated my belief that above all, I strive to be a better father than the one I had. I have may not be perfect but I will be better than him…I will be there.

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